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Hey, I experienced several similar intense attachments to women authority figures in my late teens, early twenties. For me, it was often a teacher. Made me feel crazy. Feelings way out of proportion to the actual relationship, and out of control. I had crushes on dateable people also, and I dated them, but it didn't change my obsessive behavior much. I can understand being concerned about sexual identity, that worried me when I was younger, also. However, it was helpful to me to just confront the fact that, whatever my identity, getting obsessive about somebody meant there was something wrong. For me, that meant completely breaking off contact with the person I was too focused on, and going into therapy. Ofcourse, there were other problems in my life also, I'm guessing you have some as well. I know this is complicated if you are currently working for someone you are caught up with and you also need your job but I think it is worth the effort to prioritize resolving this issue especially if it has ever lead to thoughts of death. Sounds like you are in a lot of pain. Try to get a job with a supervisor and staff that don't fit the profile of who you get excessively focused on. This helped me a lot. I learned a lot -creating a void where that obsessive relationship would usually be was really painful and confusing, it helped to have a therapist, and I learned a lot. I got some relief. I was able to examine my life without the distration of that crazy relationship. I still don't understand that dynamic completely. I've only recently learned about the concept of transference how people project unresolved aspects of important childhood relationships onto people in their adult lives especially authority figures. This rings true for me having intense feelings and reactions to someone, out of proportion to the closeness of the relationship, is the big indicator of transference. One of the majpr upsides of experiencing transference is supposed to be that it presents the opportunity to confront that unresolved thing it is a strength, in a way, you are trying to heal something. You deserve some help with that why go it alone? I'm 33 now and this still comes up sometimes in a much smaller, dealable way, it is never 'the' thing that is happening in my life anymore. I don't like it, but it does not freak me out because it is not as intense and I understand what is going on but, I'm still learning from it. You know I felt really ashamed and degraded by this obssesiveness I was afraid to admit it to anyone and that increased the intensity of the experience another good reason to get a therapist, it helps to not be alone with it, to strike out against that feeling of being 'apart from the world'. For what it is worth I think that what you are going through is a common experience. Take care of yourself. Blondes housewives searching real porno Austin Looking for a passenger, sturgis m4w
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