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fry/green tomatoes m4w I have never forgotten that day at the OHIO STATE FAIR! I have forgotten most of the things about that time in my life, but i do remember feeling like i had someone that i would share a future with. I thought that we were a great couple. Somewhere inside I always felt u were too good to spend ur entire life with me so i guess i never even gave myself a chance. U truly were the one ! I have never connected with another female the way i felt connected to you! I would have done anything to keep you in my life ! Now, times have changed and we're all grown up now! How pathetic i am writing this but after all these years i can honestly say, the longest i have been able to hide the thoughts of you in my mind were a week at a time.Its awful u know, I find myself dreaming of you, i dont want to ever wake up i am so happy ! When i awake i am disappointed all the way to my soul!! I still go on and manage my day to day activities as if all is well but deep down i have never been myself and i know i am not the same person i use to be. Fortunately, the person i use to be was not a very good person. I know that now, and i have often wished u would have hung on to me through those trying times, it would have made us so much closer! I always trusted you, I have never trusted anybody that way again! Even now when i am supposed to feel that way i dont! Hopefully my beautiful lil boy will teach me how to trust people again.?? I felt like you deserved the best and was proud to have to always work to keep u! Now nobody has ever impressed me enough to feel like they deserve it! "If you dont like me the way i am u know u dont have too stay" I know your life is good and im sure u dont think of me, so i guess this just feels good to get it out since our last conversation was nothing along these topics. I didnt wanna make you uncomfortable! I tried to be normal. Every bone n my body wanted to reach out to u ! My answer to the 1 question u wanted to ask me was so stupid!! but to the point! when i cheated on you it was just awful i know that now! both of those 2 people knew they were never going to be with me they knew u were the one i loved n they knew they there were just a fun toy for the day ! both were also hoping somehow it would split us up so they would have a chance. no matter wat happened to us they were never goin to be with me ! In the end i lost the most! I will never make love again and i miss that feeling! sorry i was such an asshole, if u never found out there is one person who knew wat i had done and he was lookin out for you in the long run! I got the life of sadness i deserved! I often think if i could still salvage a friendly relationship with you i could see happier days in my future. U were always smart and insightful, most importantly i trusted you, your judgement, and your advice. We would have made a great team in my current line of work. Take care and just know as we reach our later years, there is somebody out there who still luvs you with all his heart and soul!
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