I miss you MB
You're still here in my heart MB, and I'm afraid no matter where I am or what I'm doing, you'll always be in my heart. I have never posted to missed connections. But I find I need to get this off my chest and maybe....just maybe.. you might see it. If you don't...well..not much will change, will it? You were the first person I truly opened up to. I mean, truly. You told me to open up to you like I've never done with anyone else, and for the first time in about a decade, I did. You showed me what it was like to feel that draw to someone again. You showed me exactly how powerful love is. I know I love you, and even saying that phrase is hard for me when I truly mean the symbolism behind the phrase. You know how hard it is for me to tell someone I love them. The end of our relationship was my fault. Sure, I like to place a lot of the blame on you, but in the end, I don't give a shit. It's all dust in the wind. I still think of you everyday when I wake up, and I still think of you and your daughter everyday before I close my eyes. I understand why you distanced yourself, the same reason I did. Maybe it was because even though the feelings were there, we weren't in the right place or mindset to make a relationship work. I made some stupid choices, and I'm sure you can admit you did too. I haven't even looked at another person the way I looked at you. I can't. I know I can't because I've tried. I used to love being the single guy and having no boundaries. I hate it now. Especially because it cost me your friendship. Even if a relationship wasn't going to work, I miss YOU. I miss your smile, your beautiful color-changing eyes, and the way you used to look at me. I miss your stare across the room and being immediately drawn to come to talk to you, regardless of who I was talking to at the time or what I was doing. I've left in the middle of the conversation to come just say hi to you when your gaze reached me, oblivious to anything else in the room. It's been a few months since we last had a real conversation. I'm not a mess. I'm not depressed. I'm not crying every night. And, should you never speak to me again, I know life will go on. I'm working out, I'm making good money, and I'm working on being happy. However, I am empty. Happiness is fleeting because I can't share it with you and your daughter. Entertainment is more or less what life has become because I'm not able to share anything I'm doing in mine with you. If, by some RANDOM chance, that you see this....just know that I love you. I couldn't even say that phrase to my prior girlfriends because I didn't feel it. But with you, I did, and I still do. Even if we can only salvage a friendship, I just want to know that you're ok and you're taken care of and the man in your life is deserving of you. In fact, I would like to assume I know you better than most of the people you consider your "friends". Even if I can't be Mr. Right for you, you should at least make sure the people who are giving you romantic advice actually care. I did care. I sacrificed friendships and even my own living situation to have a relationship with you. It wasn't FOR you, it was my own sacrifices to show that I was willing to do anything to be with you. That was my mistake, I should not have done that. I do wish you the best, I really do. But I'm so bitter about how we promised each other we would always be a part of each other's lives, no matter what happened. I've broken promises before and it wasn't pleasant. I'd like to try to keep this promise. I'm sorry, I miss you, and I hope you and your awesome daughter realize someday that I meant it when I said I wanted you in my life, as a friend or girlfriend, it doesn't matter. And I truly thought you meant it when you said the same back to me. You are someone special and you don't pass up special people in your life. You try, for the rest of your life, to show that person how special they really were to you. If you would only allow me to...
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I miss you MB You're still here in my heart MB, and I'm afraid no matter where I am or what I'm doing, you'll always be in my heart. I have never posted to missed connections. But I find I need to get this off my chest and maybe....just maybe.. you might see it. If you don't...well..not much will change, will it? You were the first person I truly opened up to. I mean, truly. You told me to open up to you like I've never done with anyone else, and for the first time in about a decade, I did. You showed me what it was like to feel that draw to someone again. You showed me exactly how powerful love is. I know I love you, and even saying that phrase is hard for me when I truly mean the symbolism behind the phrase. You know how hard it is for me to tell someone I love them. The end of our relationship was my fault. Sure, I like to place a lot of the blame on you, but in the end, I don't give a shit. It's all dust in the wind. I still think of you everyday when I wake up, and I still think of you and your daughter everyday before I close my eyes. I understand why you distanced yourself, the same reason I did. Maybe it was because even though the feelings were there, we weren't in the right place or mindset to make a relationship work. I made some stupid choices, and I'm sure you can admit you did too. I haven't even looked at another person the way I looked at you. I can't. I know I can't because I've tried. I used to love being the single guy and having no boundaries. I hate it now. Especially because it cost me your friendship. Even if a relationship wasn't going to work, I miss YOU. I miss your smile, your beautiful color-changing eyes, and the way you used to look at me. I miss your stare across the room and being immediately drawn to come to talk to you, regardless of who I was talking to at the time or what I was doing. I've left in the middle of the conversation to come just say hi to you when your gaze reached me, oblivious to anything else in the room. It's been a few months since we last had a real conversation. I'm not a mess. I'm not depressed. I'm not crying every night. And, should you never speak to me again, I know life will go on. I'm working out, I'm making good money, and I'm working on being happy. However, I am empty. Happiness is fleeting because I can't share it with you and your daughter. Entertainment is more or less what life has become because I'm not able to share anything I'm doing in mine with you. If, by some RANDOM chance, that you see this....just know that I love you. I couldn't even say that phrase to my prior girlfriends because I didn't feel it. But with you, I did, and I still do. Even if we can only salvage a friendship, I just want to know that you're ok and you're taken care of and the man in your life is deserving of you. In fact, I would like to assume I know you better than most of the people you consider your "friends". Even if I can't be Mr. Right for you, you should at least make sure the people who are giving you romantic advice actually care. I did care. I sacrificed friendships and even my own living situation to have a relationship with you. It wasn't FOR you, it was my own sacrifices to show that I was willing to do anything to be with you. That was my mistake, I should not have done that. I do wish you the best, I really do. But I'm so bitter about how we promised each other we would always be a part of each other's lives, no matter what happened. I've broken promises before and it wasn't pleasant. I'd like to try to keep this promise. I'm sorry, I miss you, and I hope you and your awesome daughter realize someday that I meant it when I said I wanted you in my life, as a friend or girlfriend, it doesn't matter. And I truly thought you meant it when you said the same back to me. You are someone special and you don't pass up special people in your life. You try, for the rest of your life, to show that person how special they really were to you. If you would only allow me to...
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